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 The
LearningMethods Library
Golf In Mind
By David Robertson
Copyright (c) 2008 David Robertson, all rights reserved world-wide
INTRODUCTION
This article deals with some of the issues that have come up for me over time as
I play and continue to learn about golf. It touches on areas such as how learning and mistakes work,
how and why we can sometimes get in our own way, and how we often don't enjoy this wonderful game nearly
as much as we could! Although golf is the topic used in the following discussion, the issues that arise
are relevant in many other spheres of activity, be they sporting or otherwise.
I believe, in précis, that you will play the very best golf you can play for your
current level of skill, when and only when you can approach each shot with a clear visualisation of
what you want to happen, and can then proceed to let your golf swing, as you currently understand it,
to happen with a clear, empty mind. The extent to which your mind is clouded by swing and mechanical
thoughts and other distractions, such as ideas of pressure and importance of the particular shot you
are playing, is the extent to which you will interfere with your swing and therefore the extent to which
you will play below your actual current potential skill level.
Yet, and this is the crux, to say that you should simply "try to clear your
mind", or "try to let the swing happen", without a clear understanding of why extraneous and
distracting thoughts come into your mind, is futile, and no matter how good you become at "getting rid"
of these thoughts, the fact is that unless you understand why they are there in the first place,
what actually causes them to be there, you will never be totally free to let your swing happen
naturally and instinctively. And the more powerful the thoughts and the more seeming importance you
place on the shot, the greater will be the need to try to "control" the shot and "help out" and "try
to make sure" (as if any of these things were actually possible!).
So the real task of the golfer who wants to really learn and improve, is to attain
a clear understanding of why destructive thoughts enter the mind. And in order to attain that understanding
we must be clear that all these thoughts are simply the symptoms of certain "ways of seeing things"
or "belief systems" if you like, many of which have developed gradually through the years, and the apparent
validity of which we rarely question, if ever.
I have written this article in the form of a dialogue between myself and another
golfer. Many of the questions put by the golfer are the kinds of questions that have come up for me
over time, so in many ways this is a conversation between my current and previous levels of understanding!
The arguments put forward reflect my present understanding of a number of issues and some are perhaps
clearer to me than others, but all are becoming clearer over time, the more I explore this territory.
So while everything written here is naturally written from my own perspective, and is a reflection of
my own experience, I hope that some of it might resonate with you and be of interest or use to you.
For purposes of authenticity, I have used quite a lot of specific golfing terminology, and I apologise
to readers who may be unfamiliar with this, however I trust the general meaning and significance of
these sections will remain clear. Finally, I apologise to female readers for the almost exclusive use
of the personal pronouns he/him etc. This is done simply for the sake of syntactic coherence
and the examples given obviously apply to both he's and she's!
David:
The first question to ask is, "Why do you play golf?" Is it to win tournaments, for fun, to learn and
improve? The answer you give to this question is pretty important, as it will largely determine the
thought processes you go through when you practice and play and therefore, by definition, how
you play, or at least how you play the game in your head!
Golfer:
I want to win as many tournaments as I possibly can
David:
And to achieve that what would you have to do?
Golfer:
Play my very best golf as consistently as I possibly can
David:
And how do you achieve that?
Golfer:
By practicing lots! And not letting any distracting thoughts get in the way as I play
David:
So let me ask, can you think of a situation you've been in where you've played your absolute best golf,
or at least the best golf for the level you are currently at?
Golfer:
It sometimes happens in my practice rounds, yes I can think of a recent practice round where I played
a great round of golf.
David:
OK, and now can you think of a situation where that hasn't happened, where you've not been satisfied
with how you've played?
Golfer:
Yes, just last week in a tournament.
David:
So we have two situations here and there seems to be an interesting contrast between them. In the first
situation you played well and in the second you appear not to have played so well. So what we could
do is compare the two situations to see if we can become clearer on a number of things: what were you
doing differently or what was happening differently in the first situation as compared to the second?
Golfer:
Well, lots of things!
David:
OK yes, there would of course be quite a lot of differences, some of which may be more important or
relevant than others. Perhaps the best thing is to list the two or three differences that you consider
most relevant and we can look at those one at a time to see if there is any one fundamental difference
or a number of fundamental differences.
Golfer:
OK, the main differences were that in the practice round I was there to learn things and to try to improve
and there wasn't so much pressure.
David:
OK, before" we go on to look at the second round you played, I just want to point out that word "pressure".
Can you finish that sentence? "pressure" to do what? "pressure" exerted by whom?
Golfer:
Pressure to play well. And I guess that would be pressure I put on myself.
David:
OK, we'll come back to that a bit later. So we've gotten a little clearer as to what was going on for
you during that first round, so what about the second round, when you were in the tournament.
Golfer:
Well there I wasn't in learning mode, I was in competition mode, and there was definitely more pressure!
David:
Pressure … ?
Golfer:
To play well!
David:
OK, so of course there may be other differences between the two rounds of golf and they may or may not
be as important or relevant as those that you've pointed out but let's take a closer look at what we've
got so far. One of the differences you mentioned was that during the first round you were in "learning"
mode. Can you say exactly what you mean by that? Learning what exactly?
Golfer:
Learning how to improve my game, things like distance control, course strategy, shot-shaping and so
on.
David:
OK, so let's take a second to think about how learning actually works. For example, how do you learn
to shape a shot?
Golfer:
Well, personally, I visualise the shot a few times, I work on set-up changes that will promote a draw
or a fade or whatever it is that I want to achieve and I repeat that until I've learned to do it!
David:
OK, now let me ask this. In that particular instance do you do the learning or does the learning
happen? What I mean is, once you've tried the shot a number of times and made your set-up changes
and so on, do you still have to think about things while you actually make the shot or can you let your
system take care of that for you? So is it you who learns or your system that learns?
Golfer:
I'm not quite sure I follow!
David:
OK, let's take a slightly different example. Take something like the golf swing in general. Of course
there are lots of things to learn about the swing, and some golfers go into great "technical" detail
in their search for the "perfect" or most consistent swing. But the question remains, for whatever particular
level of skill you have as a golfer, be it a 28 handicap or a tour pro, as you actually swing the club,
do you have to continue to actively think of all those individual aspects of the swing that you have
learned, or do you let your system swing the club for you?
Golfer:
Well, certainly when I hit my very best shots, I'm not really actively thinking anything at all, so
yes, I suppose you could say my "system" swings the club and the thinking part of me is just along for
the ride!
David:
OK, now let's look at it a little differently still. Is learning something you do or something that
happens?
Golfer:
Hmm, I'm not quite sure I follow again.
David:
OK, let's take an example of a situation where you could definitely say learning has taken place. For
example, when you were a kid, or maybe even now (!), and you were playing short game challenges with
your friends. Did you specifically think of that as a learning situation or were you just having fun
and trying to get the ball in the hole?
Golfer:
Really just having fun, but we did it to learn as well.
David:
Yes, of course, but, and this is important, even if you hadn't been thinking of it as a learning opportunity,
if you had only been doing it for fun, do you think you wouldn't have learned anything from the activity
at all, nothing about touch and feel and the roll of the greens?
Golfer:
Well, yes I guess I would have learned something, maybe not as much but something.
David:
Of course we can't say for sure, but we can do a kind of reductio ad absurdam with this idea,
take it to its most extreme. Think of when you were a toddler learning to stand and take your first
steps, for example. Obviously hard to remember exactly what you were thinking, but do you think you
were "trying to learn" to walk? Would you have thought of it in those terms or were you just trying
to get across the room to give your mum a hug, or to get up to see what was on top of the kitchen bench,
just being curious about what was around you?
Golfer:
Well, I suppose I was just being curious about my surroundings.
David:
Yes, and as a by-product of this curiosity you learned to walk. Or to be more precise, your fantastically
cool, millions of years evolved learning system learned to walk for you so that once you had
learned that particular skill you never really had to think about it again. And really even when you
were learning to walk, were you thinking about the position of your legs, which individual muscles to
use, how to keep your balance and so on or did your system take care of all of that for you?
Golfer:
Hmm, yes, I didn't really have to think about that at all.
David:
And now that you're an adult do you ever have to think about how to walk?
Golfer:
No, thankfully my system seems to have got that one down pretty well!
David:
Yes, and this applies to all sorts of really extremely complex skills that you have acquired through
the years, like talking, whistling, riding a bike, even, dare I suggest, playing golf! So the real point
here is that learning is not really something that we as humans have to actually do
in the active sense. Learning is really a fundamental human characteristic, in a very fundamental sense
we are learning creatures, it is in our very nature to learn. By a happy co-incidence we also
tend to learn the most when our curiosity is really stimulated and when we're having fun and being interested
in something. Think of how many boring classes you had in school and how difficult it was to remember
anything, whereas when teachers were able to make it more fun and interesting you tended to learn more!
Golfer:
OK, I can see that.
David:
So, if perhaps in a rather round-about way, we can begin to get back to some fundamental questions.
I initially asked why you play golf, or what you aims were, and you said "to win as many tournaments
as I can".
Golfer:
That's right
David:
In order to achieve that we agreed that you would have to practice lots, presumably in order to learn
lots, and also to keep distracting thoughts away while you play. Is that right?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
So to look at the first part of that equation, the "practice" part, would you agree that, in order to
learn as much as possible, you need to be clear as to how learning in humans actually works. So, for
example, a practice session that you make as fun and creative and inventive as possible is going to
be giving your brain lots of stimulation so that your system will learn lots, whereas a practice session
where all you do is think about swing mechanics and beat golf balls until your brain is really quite
bored isn't going to be so productive, as your curiosity and "learning systems" will more or less switch
off! Or perhaps more commonly, a practice session where you scold and berate yourself for not hitting
the right shots will not be terribly conducive to learning. We might come back to that actually! But
in the meantime it is important to be clear about how learning actually works so that you can learn
as quickly and easily and in as fun a way as possible. But it is also vital, of course, to be able to
make the most of that learning when it "really counts". And, getting back to our comparison of the two
rounds, it seems that when you get into a tournament round, in your words you go into "competition mode
and there is more pressure".
Golfer:
Yes, that's right
David:
So let's look at that a little more clearly. Can you say what you mean by "competition mode"?
Golfer:
I have to try to play my best
David:
OK, notice the word "try" there. Do you find that when you play in competition you generally do play
your best or do you "try" to play your best?
Golfer:
Well, sometimes I play pretty well, but not consistently.
David:
Just to be clear here, not as consistently as when you are playing a practice round?
Golfer:
No
David:
So notice the contrast there. In your practice round do you "try" to play your best in the same way
as you "try" in your tournament rounds?
Golfer:
Well, no
David:
And can you think why not?
Golfer:
Well, because it's not so important, there's not so much riding on it
David:
OK, so it seems there are two things to look at here. First, the idea of "trying", or somehow thinking
and acting differently in a tournament round as compared to a practice round, and secondly, the idea
that a tournament round is somehow more important, which we'll come back to in a moment. So, first things
first, when you find that you are trying to play your best, is there anything in particular
that you do to achieve this goal of "playing your best"?
Golfer:
I try to make sure my set-up is correct and that I concentrate and focus as much as possible.
David:
OK, now what do you mean by the words "concentrate" and "focus"?
Golfer:
I try to clear my mind of any distracting thoughts, try to clear my mind so I can focus on the shot
I want to make.
David:
OK, this idea of concentration and focusing is really interesting. Think for a second of your practice
round, that round that went so well for you. Were you trying to "concentrate" and "focus" during that
round?
Golfer:
Well, no, I was just really in the zone, for most of the holes anyway.
David:
Can you say what you mean by "in the zone"?
Golfer:
There was nothing else in my mind but the shot, seeing the shot, seeing my swing, and then making the
shot.
David:
So, to be clear, would you say you were really focused during that round?
Golfer:
Oh yes!
David:
But were you doing that? Were you actually having to "try" to focus and to concentrate?
Golfer:
No, not at all
David:
In fact were you even thinking about ideas like "focus" and "concentrate" at all? Were you doing
that at all?
Golfer:
No!
David:
So can you think why you would have to "try" to focus or concentrate more in the tournament round? Is
it that there is something else in your mind that's tending to take you out of the "zone"?
Golfer:
Yes, that's it. There are thoughts that come into my mind that shouldn't be there and so I have to try
to get rid of them!
David:
So you see, focusing and concentrating are not something that you do. Rather they are a state
of mind where distracting thoughts aren't happening and so your mind can easily stay on the
task in hand. What actually happens when you play in a tournament is that there are other thoughts that
are in your mind that presumably aren't so much fun to have there, or aren't so useful, and in your
words "shouldn't" be there. Is that right?
Golfer:
Yes, that's it.
David:
But do you also then see that, rather than "try to focus", what we should really do is get rid of these
distracting thoughts. If they were all gone you would simply be easily able to think about what you
really want to think about, your golf game!
Golfer:
Yes, but it's not easy to just "get rid" of them!
David:
Absolutely! And so we're not going to try to get rid of them at all! Rather, we can begin to
have a clearer understanding of exactly what these thoughts are and more importantly, why they
occur, what's behind them. If we can look at the logic of the underlying ideas and beliefs which lead
to these thoughts we'll be able to scrutinise that logic. If it stands up to scrutiny all well and good
and we'll have discovered that actually all those ideas do make sense and that those distracting
thoughts really should be there and so it really is difficult to focus in a tournament round!
Or we may find (and I'm hoping that we do!) that the ideas and belief systems that act as the "drivers"
for these thoughts, really don't have any logical basis, and that once this is clear to you, the thoughts
simply won't re-occur. The beauty of this approach, briefly, is that it is so different from many strategies
and techniques for helping with the mental side of the game, for coping with "pressure" and "nerves"
and so on. Most of these strategies are based around "positive thinking", "visualisation" and so on,
but they do not address the underlying fundamental causes of "negative" thinking, and so you are left
with strategies that you have to keep employing time and again, because until you root out those underlying
beliefs, the distracting thoughts will keep coming back time and again.
Golfer:
OK, sounds a bit complicated!
David:
Well, let's start from the start with concrete examples. Let's get back to those two contrasting rounds
of golf. In your tournament round you said you were in "competition" mode and that there was more pressure
to play well, is that right?
Golfer:
Yes, that's right
David:
OK, what exactly do we mean by the word "pressure", "pressure to play well"?
Golfer:
Hmm, it's a feeling that I have to play well
David:
OK, let's look at that. There are two things to look at here, the "have to" and the "play well". Let's
take the idea of playing well first. In your experience, and your practice round might serve as an example
here, at those times when you do actually play well, and by play well I'm presuming we're meaning playing
to your current skill level (although people do at times expect themselves to somehow magically hit
shots that don't even come off very often in practice — yet!) what exactly is it that you are doing
or thinking or what is it that is happening at those times as opposed to when you're not "playing well"?
Golfer:
Hmm, I'm no too sure. There certainly isn't usually that feeling of pressure, the feeling of "having
to" play well.
David:
OK, well you could of course make some experiments to see exactly what is going on for you at those
times, but is it safe to say that, at least in that recent practice round where you played so well,
there wasn't a feeling of "pressure" or "having to" play well?
Golfer:
That's right
David:
So notice the irony there that you actually tend to play better golf when you're not actively trying
to play well! But more importantly, let's look at why it seems more important that you "play well" in
competition, or that you "have to" play well in competition. Before I ask this next question let's just
get a little clearer on this idea of "play well". What exactly do we mean by that?
Golfer:
Well, to "play well" is to strike shots the way I'd like to, to hole putts, generally to put together
a good score.
David:
So you are saying that whenever your shots work out the way you'd like them to, and the putts drop and
so on, then you are playing well?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
Is that a little bit like the recent practice round you mentioned?
Golfer:
Yes, like that
David:
And when things are working out nicely for you like that, are you doing the good shots or are
the good shots happening?
Golfer:
Well, when I hit my very best shots, it's like I know I've learned how to do it and so I just get out
of my way and let the shot happen.
David:
So do you really begin to see that when you play your best golf you don't actually do very
much, in the sense that you're not trying to do the swing or trying to control the
swing directly as you actually swing the club. Is that right?
Golfer:
Yes, that's it, but when I'm in competition I don't always feel I can let go like that
David:
Exactly, and that leads me on to that next question which is what is it exactly that is keeping you
from just letting the shots happen when you are in "competition mode"? Is it that it all seems more
important?
Golfer:
Yes, I feel like we're going in a circle here! I know that trying to control the shots directly
doesn't work, I just get in my own way, but I still don't feel able to let go of that!
David:
OK, well this is where we can begin to break out of that circle. You said that when you play in competition
there is more pressure because you feel you "have to play well". OK, why?
Golfer:
Why do I have to play well?
David:
Yes.
Golfer:
Well, if I don't play well, I won't have a chance of winning!
David:
OK, two questions arise from that. Firstly, and this may on the face of it seem like a silly question,
why is it important to you that you win?
Golfer:
Because that's the whole point of playing!
David:
OK, just to be clear, can you finish that sentence? Winning is the whole point of playing … golf? golf
in competition? or what exactly?
Golfer:
Well, competitive golf.
David:
So does this mean that unless you are guaranteed to win there is no point in playing?
Golfer:
No, of course not!
David:
OK, let's look at this then. Are you clear as to why winning is the "whole point" of competitive
golf?
Golfer:
Well, I know that if I don't win I feel worse than if I win!
David:
Is that actually true? Can you imagine a situation where you play your very best golf, let's say you
play the best golf you've ever played in competition, and you're coming down the stretch needing a birdie
on the last to make the play-off. You hit a perfect mid-iron into the green but the wind suddenly gets
up and your ball comes back off a false front. You hit a wonderful 40 foot putt that shaves the lip
and tap in for par. You shoot a final round 66 but come second by a shot. Are you really saying that
there was "no point" to that round of golf?!
Golfer:
Hmm, no, that'd be a pretty cool round to put together!
David:
OK, and by the same token, let's say you play in a tournament where everyone pretty much plays terribly!
And you play absolutely terribly by your own standards, can hardly hit the ball straight, but you get
some great breaks. On one approach you even shank the ball into the trees but it kicks out and rolls
up next to the pin. So you play terribly but not quite as terribly as everyone else, and the tournament
sponsors are almost embarrassed to put their name to the trophy, but, hey, you win! Would that be satisfying
for you?
Golfer:
Well, hey, a wins a win! But no, I guess I'd rather win by playing my best golf.
David:
Well, let's be a little careful here though. Given these examples, is it actually true that the whole
point of playing competitive golf is winning or winning by playing great golf?
Golfer:
Well, winning by playing great golf, because that way you'd really feel like you could repeat it!
David:
Exactly, but as we saw in the example, what would happen if you played some really fantastic golf but
came up just short of the win? Think of Rocco Mediate against Tiger Woods in the US Open play-off for
example!
Golfer:
OK, I see your point
David:
So it's important to be clear that you cannot ever guarantee that you will win a tournament. All you
can do is give yourself the best chance possible of playing your best golf, and if that happens to be
good enough to win then so much the better. And as we saw earlier the only way you can give yourself
the best chance of playing your best golf is to let the shots happen, without worrying too much about
winning and so on!
Golfer:
OK, I feel like we're getting somewhere here, and some of this feels a bit familiar, things like "staying
in the moment", "thinking only of the next shot" and so on, but I still really want to win golf tournaments!
David:
Of course, so let's go back to that statement from earlier and try to complete it: "Winning is the whole
point of competitive golf because …"?
Golfer:
Because … because if you can win consistently, not just back into a win like in that example before,
but win by playing really well consistently, you can consider yourself to be the best golfer.
David:
The best golfer … ever? compared to whom? The best golfer you can be?
Golfer:
I want to be the very best golfer I can be.
David:
And why would you need to play in competitions in order to achieve that?
Golfer:
So I can compare my standard of golf to other players
David:
Well, no, if your aim is to be the best golfer you can be, that really has got nothing to do
with anyone else does it?
Golfer:
Well no, but I want to be able to play to the best of my ability even when I play in front of other
players, in competition.
David:
So is your aim to be the best golfer you can be, or to be the best golfer you can be in front of others?
Golfer:
The best golfer I can be in front of others, or compared to others.
David:
OK, so we can say that if you win a golf tournament, or as you said, consistently win tournaments, you
could rightly consider yourself to be the best golfer compared to the other golfers you are competing
against. Is that right?
Golfer:
Well, yes, if the wins were repeated over a period of time.
David:
OK, it's important to be clear here exactly which criteria we are using to determine this label
of "best" or "better than". If you play in a golf tournament, and I warn you this may sound patronising
(!), which criteria are used to determine who wins?
Golfer:
Well, the player who has the lowest score after a number of rounds!
David:
So if you play the course in fewer strokes than your fellow competitors you win the competition, right?
Golfer:
Right
David:
And we're clear that you would like to be able to do that on a regular basis, right?
Golfer:
Right
David:
Why?
Golfer:
Why would I like to win?
David:
Yes, why would you like to win?
Golfer:
Well, because it feels great!
David:
Feels great compared to what?
Golfer:
Well, to not winning!
David:
Again, why?
Golfer:
Well, lots of reasons, but for one, because it means that I played the best golf.
David:
OK, if we're being really precise, and bear with me here, we're getting to the point of all this in
a moment, you played the course in fewer strokes than everyone else and that gives you a better feeling
than if you hadn't achieved that. Is that accurate?
Golfer:
Yes, that's accurate
David:
So notice here that by its very nature, a competition or tournament is a way of comparing the skill
levels of a number of people in a certain discipline. If you win the golf tournament, or consistently
win tournaments, you would say you are the "best" golfer, right?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
OK, so now let's look at exactly what that label "best" means. There are obviously a number of contributing
factors which would lead you to score consistently lower than others. What would some of those be?
Golfer:
Em, skill level, mental toughness, strategy, there are probably more …
David:
OK, but broadly we could put them into two categories: skill sets, which would include things like understanding
of the golf swing, touch around the greens, distance control, strategy for each hole and so on, and
the second would be the ability to bring all these skills to bear when in a competitive situation, or
as you called it, mental toughness.
Golfer:
Yes, that sounds right, mental discipline or clarity, being able to think clearly under pressure.
David:
OK, so let's look at these categories one at a time. First we have the various skill sets. Put simply
if you have a higher skill level than another player does that make you a better player than them?
Golfer:
Yes, of course
David:
Well, would you agree that it kind of depends who you are comparing yourself to? Obviously your skill
level is higher than a six year old kid just starting out, but would you class yourself as "better"
than them?
Golfer:
No, well, better in terms of my skill level
David:
Do you see the confusion that can arise with the word "better" though? If we're being really accurate
we could say that you have a higher skill level than the six year old, but whether you are "better"
or not depends entirely on the criteria you are using to define "better" and "worse". For example, if
the criteria being used to make the judgement are "skill level" then of course you are "better", but
if the criteria being used to determine who is the better golfer is, say, "enjoyment and fun", then
we may well find that the six year old is "better" at golf than you because he or she has loads of fun
and gets really excited when they hit the ball twenty yards! So you see it is important to be very clear
as to the criteria we are using to determine the "betterness"!
Golfer:
OK yes, but in tournament play obviously the criteria is "skill level"
David:
Yes, of course, but let's think about that for a second. If your skill level is higher than another
player does that make you "better" than them?
Golfer:
Well, not better than them as a person, but better as a golfer
David:
Yes, and do you get satisfaction from having a higher skill level than other golfers?
Golfer:
Well, not six year olds (!) but other golfers in the same tournament, yes.
David:
So are you saying that to compare your skill level to a six year old is unfair whereas to compare it
to other golfers in a tournament is a fair comparison?
Golfer:
Absolutely
David:
Yes, this is, of course, very important, because if you are going to compare things, be it golfers or
really anything for that matter, you must make sure that the things you are comparing are alike enough
to actually bear comparison. It wouldn't make sense, for example, to compare a set of high quality forged
blade irons with a cheap starter set. Or if you did compare them you would need to be very clear as
to what exactly the criteria being used to make the comparison were. If quality and ball control are
your criteria, then the blades are "better", but if you're just starting out and can't afford to spend
much on clubs, then the starter set is obviously "better". So, to get back to your example, do you feel
that you and the other golfers in the field are alike enough for you to be able to make a valid comparison
of your skill levels?
Golfer:
Well, yes
David:
Are there a number of factors which contribute towards a golfers "skill level"?
Golfer:
Em, yes, there's talent, practice, discipline, strategy and so on.
David:
OK, let's look at a few of those contributing factors in a bit more detail to see what merit or otherwise
they each may hold. Take a golfer who happens to have been born with a real "talent" for golf, so that
when he was a little kid it was clear that he had really nice hand-eye co-ordination and a feel for
the game. That's obviously going to give that kid a head-start in terms of his golfing skills, but could
we say in any way that the child had "earned" or "worked for" that particular talent?
Golfer:
Well, no it would be chance I guess.
David:
So would it be fair to compare that kid to another who simply hadn't been born with the same level of
hand-eye co-ordination or the same "talent"?
Golfer:
Well, he would still be better at golf.
David:
Better or more skilled, more able?
Golfer:
Well, no, better!
David:
Better in what way?
Golfer:
Well, more skilled, argh!
David:
So would it still be valid to compare the two kids' "goodness" as golfers if one had, by sheer lucky
chance, been blessed with a better co-ordination? Of course the first kid might really enjoy having
fun with those skills, but should he feel "proud of himself" for having the higher skill level, even
though he had done nothing whatsoever to earn that?
Golfer:
No, not if that's the only factor but there are lots of other things that come into play, like hard
work and practice, dedication and so on.
David:
Yes, we'll come to that in a moment, but first it is important to clarify our terms here. When we talk
of someone's "skill level", that can be measured reasonably objectively. So child "A" might have a demonstrably
higher skill level than child "B". However, to then put that into such subjective terms as better and
worse really doesn't make much sense. What I'm saying is, to have a certain skill level is one thing,
but to link how good or bad you feel about your golf or indeed yourself because of that skill level
is something altogether different. If child "B" were to feel embarrassed while playing golf with child
"A" just because his skill level wasn't as high, even though child "A" had done nothing whatsoever to
"earn" that higher skill level, but was just "lucky" enough to have been born with it, that embarrassment
would be the result of a misunderstanding. Child "B" would not have understood that it is not a fair
comparison to make.
Golfer:
Well, it might spur him on to practice and do better
David:
It may or may not, but what we're looking at is the idea of "better" and "worse" and the feeling of
embarrassment or inadequacy that can lead to. People don't tend to enjoy feeling like that, and indeed
it can be enough to stop us wanting to even try to learn new skills. How many golfers are there out
there who perhaps, through family or work commitments, simply haven't got the time they would like to
dedicate themselves to improving their golf? Or perhaps they aren't blessed with the same natural hand-eye
co-ordination as their golfing friends, or for whatever reason, and through no fault of their own, have
a lower skill level than other golfers in their circle. Or perhaps they get nervous because of these
thoughts of comparison and the feeling that others are judging them and making comparisons, without
understanding how baseless those comparisons actually are! The classic example here is that of the high
handicapper who plays in a pro-am and can't help feeling that he needs to berate himself or apologise
to the golf pro after almost every shot. These are the golfers who somehow feel they are "at fault",
or "stupid" or an "idiot" or "no good" when mistakes happen in their golf. And ironically, it is largely
these feelings of comparative inadequacy and self-judgement that stop them actually having fun and learning
more about their game.
Now, let's expand our example a little to see if we can move closer towards the situation
you find yourself in. You mentioned practice and dedication a few moments ago. Could you expand on that?
Golfer:
Well, say there are two golfers who are born with similar skill levels, so there's no head-start for
either (!), if one practices more and learns more quickly, and hence moves to a higher skill level,
well then surely you could then safely say he was a "better" golfer.
David:
Well, more skilled certainly, but you would need to look at the circumstances which led to the one golfer
practicing more than the other. It's not difficult to imagine a situation where a kid who enjoyed playing
golf and had a certain talent for it would want to practice and improve, perhaps more so than someone
who did not initially show any great promise. The child may also be lucky enough to be growing up in
a supportive and encouraging environment, and may well get a lot of enjoyment out of the attention he
receives when he plays well, or just enjoy that feeling of support and achievement. From there it's
not a huge leap to imagine how that child might practice much more and "work harder" at his golf than
a child who isn't in that very fortunate situation. That's only one example, but hopefully you can begin
to see that even if a child practices extremely hard, dedicates himself to golf for years and achieves
an ever increasing level of skill, while this may be a wonderful thing for that person as he grows into
a competitive golfer, and while it may bring great pleasure, there really isn't any way in which that
person would be justified in feeling "superior" to anyone else, as the level of golf he plays at is
simply the result of all his very personal and uniquely individual experience.
Golfer:
So has all of this winning and losing thing really got more to do with how we think others perceive
us, or how we want them to think of us?
David:
That's an interesting one. Let's say you win a tournament. Would you be quite happy not to tell anyone
whatsoever about your win?
Golfer:
No, I'd want to tell some people about it. I'd be quite glad if quite a few others found out about it
as well!
David:
OK, to help make sense of why that might be the case, let's think how you would feel if no-one were
to ever find out about your win, let's say the biggest win of your career to date.
Golfer:
Hmm, I'd really really want to tell somebody!
David:
Tell them that you won?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
Can you think why?
Golfer:
So they'd know how good I am.
David:
As a golfer?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
Good in terms of … ?
Golfer:
Well, my skill level and mental tenacity
David:
Well, your skill level is the product of a number of things. First, your natural ability, which is given
to you by chance, and which you have done nothing whatsoever to deserve. Would you agree with that?
Golfer:
Well, it's a bit harsh but OK
David:
And second, no small amount of practice, indeed you may have practiced very hard to get to the skill
level you have attained.
Golfer:
Yes, hard practice
David:
And though we often make a virtue of hard work and hard practice let me ask this.
Why have you practiced?
Golfer:
To improve
David:
So that … ?
Golfer:
So that I might win more tournaments
David:
So that … ?
Golfer:
So that people will see how good I am!
David:
So all that hard work and practice is done so that people can tell you that you are a good golfer?
Golfer:
Well, that makes it sound like a very shallow reason. I practice for myself too.
David:
You may do, but you did say that you would find it very difficult not to tell people about
a big win. Would this not mean that much of what you are striving to achieve is so that you will gain
other people's approval? Is there really much glory in that? Or certainly, as a reason for
practicing is that a very "virtuous" or "worthy" reason?
Golfer:
Hmm, well, no, not really
David:
So, if you do win consistently, this may well mean that you have attained a higher skill level than
your fellow competitors, or happen to have figured your way through a number of mental difficulties
and misunderstandings, putting you in a more favourable position to play tournament golf. But for others
to think that that somehow makes you more "worthwhile" or "better" in some fundamental sense is surely
a misunderstanding on their part. In fact, if they were to think that you are more worthy of
praise because you win a tournament as opposed to coming somewhere further back, so thinking in terms
of "winners" and "losers", notice that they too would be labouring under the misapprehension that winning
is really the most important thing, and so their own self-esteem and sense of worth may well be dependant
on their own winning and losing, and so they would feel pressure to try their very best to win at all
costs, and would be harder on themselves if they didn't happen to win. Do you see where we go with this?
Golfer:
Yes, it's kind of like, the people who would think it praiseworthy, or the most important thing to win,
would only think that because they would be linking self-worth with skill level and winning, which wouldn't
leave them in a very nice place either.
David:
Well, think about it, we can't all win in tournaments, so does this mean that only the winner is allowed
to be happy and have fun and everyone else must feel worthless because their current level of skill
or clarity of thought aren't quite at that level? Of course that would be nonsense!
Golfer:
So, what are you saying then? That I shouldn't want to win?
David:
Not at all! To want to win, to be competitive is a human instinct, but to link that to how good or bad
you feel about yourself just doesn't make any sense. If we truly begin to see that winning is a result,
not a cause, we can begin to think more in terms of curiosity, fun, learning, improving, and that way
there is no pressure, no need to perform to a certain level. And the more fun you have, the
more curious you will be, and the more curious you are the more you will learn, and the more you learn
the more you will improve, and the more you improve the more you will win! But do you see that the fundamental
thing here is having fun and being happy with wherever you are at the moment with your golf.
It is that fun and happiness that will lead to everything else.
Golfer:
Yes, but it's tough though not to think of other people when I play. There are some that I don't want
to disappoint, like when I play golf with my dad, or others that I don't want to think badly of my play,
like my peers, or others that I don't want to laugh at me, like other golfers or people in the crowd
when I play.
David:
OK, that's a lot of people you've got in mind there! Let's take those examples one at a time and look
at what, if anything, is actually going on for those people when you play golf. Let's start with the
example of your dad. Can you be a little more specific as to how exactly you might "disappoint" him?
Golfer:
Well, when we play together, or if I'm in a tournament, I feel a pressure to play well for him,
so as not to disappoint him.
David:
OK, what exactly does it mean to "disappoint him"?
Golfer:
Em, to not live up to his expectations?
David:
Yes, of course if he had no expectations of you it would be impossible to disappoint him. Well, do you
know if he actually has any expectations of you, and if so what are they?
Golfer:
Well, I know he wants me to do well.
David:
Do well?
Golfer:
Yes, to play as well as I can.
David:
And you're sure he wants you to do as well as you can, even if that means that you don't enjoy playing
so much around him because of that "expectation" or "pressure"?
Golfer:
Well, no, I think he wants me to enjoy my golf too.
David:
Well, we have a contradiction here, and perhaps we can make it clearer by making the example a little
more extreme. Either your dad wants you to be happy, in which case he would do nothing to try to make
you feel unhappy or uncomfortable or under pressure, or he wants you to win at all costs (perhaps because
of how it may reflect on his son?), and to heck with how you feel in the meantime, because
winning is the most important thing. The real question is, though, do you actually know what
your dad is thinking at all when you play golf?
Golfer:
Well, no not for sure.
David:
So who definitely is having these thoughts about performing well and pressure and so on?
Golfer:
Well, me
David:
So is it that you assume that your dad has expectations of you?
Golfer:
Yes, I do
David:
So, to be clear here, the expectations are definitely yours and may or may not be your father's,
right?
Golfer:
Right
David:
How do expectations work? What is an expectation? What would cause you to expect something
to happen?
Golfer:
You'd need to have some past experience of a certain thing happening for you to expect it to happen
again.
David:
And would that have just happened once, or a number of times, with a certain consistency?
Golfer:
Yes, a number of times
David:
So, how often have you actually played really well in front of your dad?
Golfer:
Really not that often!
David:
OK, so right there, your experience is telling you that, for some reason, you don't play all that well,
or at least not consistently well, in front of your dad. So first, do you see that your experience is
telling you that your "expectation" is simply unrealistic at the moment. You expect yourself to play
well in your dad's presence, or as well as at other times when he is not there, even though experience
tells you that that has never consistently happened!
Golfer:
OK, but I want to play well for him!
David:
Yes, of course, and let's look at that. But it is important to be clear on the unrealistic nature of
your own expectation. Now, can you think why you don't tend to play as well in front of him as, say,
when you are on your own?
Golfer:
Again it comes back to pressure.
David:
Pressure to do what?
Golfer:
Pressure to play well in case I disappoint him! Argh! It's like a vicious circle!
David:
OK, well we've established that we can't be sure if your play actually does or does not disappoint your
dad. He may well be thinking about all sorts of other things when he plays along with you, like his
own game (!), or that he doesn't want to disappoint his son, or embarrass himself in front of his son!
We've got to remember that, just as we spend most of our time thinking about ourselves
and our own predicaments, so others tend to do just the same about their own lives and predicaments.
But we can actually get to a point where we kind of assume that other people spend an inordinate amount
of time thinking about us, as if we are somehow more important or special than everyone else! And, of
course, to ourselves we are, but it just might be that pretty much everyone thinks the same way too!
Golfer:
Yes, kind of getting so wound up in yourself that you only see others in relation to yourself, not as
individuals in their own right.
David:
That's it. Now, however, that doesn't solve the possibility that your dad actually may be disappointed
with how you play. We need to address that possibility, just in case! If your dad did feel disappointed
with how you play, wouldn't that mean that how you play is somehow important for him?
Golfer:
Yes, he might feel bad for me if I don't play well.
David:
But let's be careful. To feel bad for someone, is that the same as to feel disappointed for them, or
disappointed in them?
Golfer:
Well, yes, I suppose to feel bad for them is more to empathise with them, with their own sense of disappointment.
David:
Is that how you think your dad feels when you don't play so well?
Golfer:
Yes, it probably actually is more that way
David:
But again, and just in case, let's say your dad does actually feel let down, that you have
disappointed him with how you've played, or maybe even that how you've played reflects
badly on him. First and foremost, do you see that if that's actually how he thinks, he would
be linking his own feelings, feeling happy, feeling disappointed, with something that you are
doing, over which he has no direct control. Again, taking this to the extreme, if someone were to say
to you, "it's completely your responsibility to make me happy, if you don't play to the best
of your ability then it will be your fault that I'm unhappy and disappointed", would that make any sense
at all? Put another way, do you think that anyone else should take responsibility for your
happiness? The only person who can be truly responsible for your happiness is you! Just as the only
person who can be responsible for your dad's happiness is your dad! Nothing you do can make
him happy or unhappy, it is the way he sees things, if indeed that is the way he sees things,
that will make him happy or otherwise.
Golfer:
So, what you're saying is that it is impossible for me to disappoint him, the only thing that might
disappoint him are his own ideas and expectations.
David:
Yes
Golfer:
Yes, but that whole idea of only being responsible for your own happiness. Isn't that a very selfish
thing?
David:
Selfish?
Golfer:
Yes, surely you should want to make others happy too?
David:
Well, let's think. All that time you are trying to make your dad happy when you play golf, how happy
does that make you feel?
Golfer:
Well, not very
David:
So does this mean that your dad's happiness is more important than yours? Do you think he'd be happy
to see you unhappy?
Golfer:
Of course not!
David:
And similarly, would you expect anyone to make themselves unhappy just so that you could be happy?
Golfer:
No
David:
And would it make you happier to spend time around people who were going out of their way to behave
differently than they otherwise would just so that you can be happy, or would you rather spend time
around people who are happy in themselves and don't need you to behave in any particular way
for them at all? Then you could simply all be happy together and share in each other's happiness, which
would probably make you all even more happy!
Golfer:
OK, OK!
David:
But bringing it right back to your own experience. What's the one thing that would make you most happy
for your dad?
Golfer:
If he were happy
David:
Exactly, and so it just might be that the one thing that would make him most happy for you would be
…?
Golfer:
If I'm happy myself!
David:
Of course, we can't be sure of this, and people do often invest their own sense of well-being in the
achievements or otherwise of others, but that really can't work in the long-term. So, at a simple practical
level, the only thing you can do that would be of any use at all in your dad achieving his
own happiness, not that that is in any way your responsibility, is to be happy in yourself! Anything
beyond that he'll pretty much have to figure out for himself!
Golfer:
OK, I think I can begin to see that
David:
Now, you also mentioned not wanting people to think "badly" of how you play. Is that right? Can you
explain that a little more?
Golfer:
I don't want them to think I can't play well.
David:
Compared to?
Golfer:
Compared to them or to other players. Oh, I see, we're back into that whole territory of comparison
or unrealistic comparison, and how it is that that actually brings about the feelings of pressure.
David:
Right, so, while we can't of course be sure what other people are thinking at all while we play golf,
and let's remember they may well be caught up in their own world of thought just as you are (!), what
we can be sure of is that if they are judging how you play, by comparing your standard of play
to themselves or to someone else, then this means that they think that that is a perfectly valid and
sensible thing to do. Notice that this tells us much more about their own thinking than it tells us
about you or your golf. What it also means is that if they are caught up in these comparative and judgemental
thoughts, it would be likely that they will apply this to themselves as well as to you. So how would
that make them feel when they play golf in front of others?
Golfer:
Well, I guess that would put them under a lot of pressure, as they might fear that others would be judging
them! Again it's a vicious circle!
David:
Yes, and it's always interesting to me when I see a golfer berating himself, or talking to himself after
what he considers a poor shot. I wonder if they tend to do that when they are playing on their own?
How much of that talk is to try to somehow justify what has happened, to blame it on something, on luck,
or to call themselves stupid for making that mistake, so that others will know that the player himself
knows it shouldn't happen that way, or doesn't usually happen that way. You can tell a lot about what's
going on for a player from those comments he makes on the course.
Golfer:
Hmm, yes, I do find myself doing that at times out on the course.
David:
Yes, but the one huge advantage that you can begin to have over those you compete against is an understanding
of the destructive belief systems that lead to those thought processes. Is that clearer to you now?
Golfer:
Yes, and then there are those people who might laugh at me if I play a poor shot. What about them?
David:
Well, let's think. We can ask a couple of questions here. First of all, if you can think of one particular
person who might laugh at you when a mistake happens, would that person laugh at you more when you're
with a group of golfers or when it is just the two of you?
Golfer:
Hmm, hard to say, I think more when we're in a fourball, when there are more people around.
David:
So, can you think why it might be that his behaviour would be different in front of these others?
Golfer:
Maybe he's trying to impress them somehow?
David:
Well, we wouldn't know for sure, but certainly if he's laughing and "making fun" of you in a way that
you're not enjoying, you can be fairly sure that he's more concerned with the reaction of the others
than your feelings. And this would be born out by the fact that if it was just the two of you, he may
well simply say "hard luck" or something to that effect.
Golfer:
Yes, I can actually think of a person who does just that. Well, he did laugh once when it was just the
two of us, but I think he realised by my reaction that I didn't appreciate it!
David:
It might also be of interest to think about how this person behaves when he plays his own shots
on the course. If he doesn't hit every shot perfectly does he tend to get frustrated or behave as we
described previously, berating himself and so on, or perhaps trying to make light of it to hide his
frustration?
Golfer:
So really what you're saying is, even if someone does laugh at me when I play a poor shot, it really
says more about them and how they see things than about me.
David:
Yes, if you like we can look at that for a second.
Golfer:
OK, look at what?
David:
Well, the fact that if a mistake happens when you play, how or why somebody might think that that was
worthy of condemnation or was somehow a justification for laughing at you. This brings us into the whole
area of what a mistake actually is. So what is a mistake?
Golfer:
It's when you do something wrong
David:
Let's look at that a little more closely. A mistake is "something you do wrong". Is that it?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
Wrong in what way?
Golfer:
Well, not right! Not what you want to happen, not accurate I suppose.
David:
OK, but just notice how powerful that word "wrong" can be. In the case of a golf shot, if accuracy is
your criteria, then an "inaccurate" shot, or a shot that doesn't come off the way you intended could
be considered a mistake, right?
Golfer:
Yes, that's it
David:
OK, and is a mistake something that you actually do, in the same way you might do something
else, like touch your nose. Is it something you do like that?
Golfer:
Well, no, you don't want it to happen, of course
David:
OK, but do you do a mistake or does it happen?
Golfer:
I suppose it happens, and then you notice that it's happened
David:
It's important to be clear on that one. The first moment you notice a mistake is once it has actually
happened! So that would make it pretty difficult for you to somehow "make sure" it didn't happen, wouldn't
it!
Golfer:
Yes!
David:
So, just to be clear, a mistake definitely can happen but it's not something you do?
Golfer:
Right
David:
And do you intend for it to happen?
Golfer:
No
David:
OK, so maybe our definition of a mistake has changed a little. So, instead of a mistake being "something
you do wrong", we've come up with, "a mistake is something that happens that is inaccurate and which
you don't intend to happen"
Golfer:
Yes, OK it's a bit long but it will do!
David:
And now that we've changed the definition, do you see that really it would be impossible for you to
make sure you don't make a mistake, given that you don't actually make them
anyway!
Golfer:
Yes, but I still don't want them to happen!
David:
Because?
Golfer:
Because they're bad!
David:
OK, let's take a look at an example of a learning situation to help us get a clearer handle on the whole
"mistake" thing. Think of a young child learning to stand or take its first steps. Would you agree that
the child is going to fall over quite a few times before it "learns" to stand or walk?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
So let's take one of these moments where the child falls over on its bum. Did the child intend to fall
over?
Golfer:
No
David:
Did the child do the falling or did the falling over happen?
Golfer:
It happened
David:
And if the ultimate goal is, let's say, to stand up without falling over, has the child achieved its
goal?
Golfer:
No
David:
So we could say that what has happened is inaccurate in that it's not what the child wants
to happen?
Golfer:
OK
David:
So, according to our own criteria for what a mistake is, a mistake has happened. Would that be right?
Golfer:
Well, I guess but you wouldn't think of it as a mistake.
David:
But let's be clear here, what has just happened does fit all our criteria for a mistake?
Golfer:
Yes, I suppose
David:
Yes, I can feel your reluctance here, and I don't want to pick on the poor child! So, would you say
that the child falling over is in any way a bad thing?
Golfer:
Well, not really because it will learn from that.
David:
OK well let's look at exactly how the child will learn from that. I'm not an expert here but
this is more or less what happens. As the child falls over, the brain receives lots of information or
feedback from all the balance and sensory systems and then processes that information so that its next
attempt at standing will be a little more "accurate". So basically, without that information the brain
would have no way of making its next attempt more accurate. Does that make sense?
Golfer:
OK, yes
David:
And let's say you have a well-meaning mum who doesn't want her child to fall over, or "make mistakes"
as it learns to walk, and so uses a harness or stands behind and holds the child up, do you see what
the problem would be? Literally the system would be starved of information and therefore couldn't use
that information to make further, slightly more accurate attempts at standing or walking. So, quite
literally, no learning could take place. Well, the child would learn to lean on its mum but that's about
it! So do you see that the falling over and the information gained from that and the processing of that
information for the next attempt and so on and so on actually is the learning process. Take
away the falling over and you take away the information and you take away any chance of making a more
accurate next attempt! The falling over is the learning, the "mistake" is the learning!
Golfer:
Woah! … so why do we think of mistakes as such bad things then?
David:
Well, of course many people do, but, question, do you tend to feel worse about your mistakes when they
happen in front of others?
Golfer:
Yes
David:
Well, that could give us a clue. Also, notice that in many areas of our lives, like education for example,
we tend to be taught that in order to achieve a goal we've got to "try our best" to directly achieve
that goal. We are actually taught to "try not to make mistakes", as if they are somehow a bad thing.
But, as we've seen from the example of the child learning to walk, that is a complete misunderstanding
of the learning process. Once you have learned a skill, mistakes will not tend to happen when you perform
that particular skill (unless of course you get all distracted by what you think the other people around
will think if you "make a mistake"!), but it's important to be clear that that "perfect" state of affairs,
where mistakes no longer happen, only came about because of all the learning that took place, which
only came about as a direct result of all the experience gained and information and feedback gained
from all the so-called "mistakes" that happened during the learning process. So to think that you can
achieve a state where mistakes no longer happen by simply trying not to let mistakes happen
is a complete misunderstanding of how learning actually works. This is bit like the high-handicapper
who goes to the driving range night after night and tries to learn how to hit the ball straight by trying
not to let the ball go to the left or right, without any real idea of why it's going to the
left or right, or even why it happens to go straight once in a while. This, by the way, would easily
lead into the whole territory of "frustration" in learning and what that means. Anyway, what we can
now see is that anybody who ever laughs at you or makes fun of you in an unfriendly way when a mistake
happens is undoubtedly labouring under this misapprehension, and will no doubt feel a great deal of
pressure themselves to try not to "mess up" or "make mistakes".
Golfer:
So this whole learning process thing, are you saying that I've just got to let mistakes happen when
I play?
David:
Well, in a way, have you ever been able to not let them happen? Do you actually have any control
whatsoever as to whether mistakes happen or not?
Golfer:
No, I suppose not
David:
If we look at the example of the child again, that might make it a little clearer. As we've seen, there
can often be some misunderstanding between things we do and things that happen. If
we take the example of the child learning to stand or walk, we could ask the question, is the child
"doing" the learning or is the learning "happening"? This would be a pretty important distinction to
make. Does the child think to itself "I've got to learn all these skills like standing, talking, walking
etc. or does the learning happen as a by-product of the child's innate curiosity?
Golfer:
I think the learning is happening there, the child's not really having to do anything
to make it happen.
David:
And what about all the skills that you have learned over time? Can you see that actually all those skills
are really learned by your own built-in learning system? All you need to do is to remain curious about
how to improve your game, and every time a shot doesn't come off quite as you'd like you can think about
it and examine what you were doing or thinking as you played the shot and what kind of result you got,
so kind of get the feedback from the shot, and use all that information to try the shot again, perhaps
on the practice ground. So do you see that, if you can begin to think of things in this way, literally
every shot you play in golf becomes a learning opportunity, so whether you happen to get the desired
result or not, you can still learn something useful from the shot. If, on the other hand, you get all
caught up in the result of the shot, where the ball ends up, and get all busy getting upset with yourself,
or blaming the wind or the rain or the ground or the crowd or your luck (!), notice that at that very
moment you've physically lost the opportunity to actually learn and improve. So you'll more than likely
find yourself making the same mistake quite a few more times before you actually learn how to avoid
it, if at all.
Golfer:
In that way I'll learn even more quickly and have more fun!
David:
Yes, finally, rather than being stuck in all these "vicious" circles as you call them, you can find
yourself in a "virtuous" circle, where literally your only aim is to be curious and have as much fun
as possible, which will give your learning nature the very best possible opportunity to express itself,
which will lead to an ever improving level of skill, and who knows, even to more victories, which will
lead to more fun and curiosity and so on and so on!
Golfer:
OK, this sounds pretty cool!
David:
Yes, and you might want to start experimenting with these ideas on the practice ground and on the course.
So, in conclusion, what we've really been looking at here is the true nature of cause and effect.
The only cause you can ever really be responsible for and indeed the only one you actually
need to be responsible for is the initial cause of how you think. Everything
else is, at some stage or another, an effect, or to be more precise, part of a chain of effects that
stem from that cause. So clear thinking about the shot you are about to play, and then not getting in
your way as you play the shot are the only things you can be responsible for in a causal sense.
Everything else like "the ball has to go there", "I've got to make par", "I've
got to shoot a good round", "I've got to win" are simply not and cannot be within your
direct sphere of control. They are and always will be symptoms or results of those initial thought processes.
But the beauty of this is that the more you understand that you cannot make anything directly
happen at all, and the more you are simply able to let your system do what it knows how, the more accurately
you will play anyway. In effect you can really have the best of both worlds, have your cake and eat
it, if you like!
We've hopefully become clearer on how you could actually improve as a golfer, and
have lots of fun along the way, and how those improvements will lead to a more competitive level of
play, and therefore may lead to more tournament victories. At the same time, however, we can see that
while winning is wonderful and great fun, it does not define you. As we saw earlier, one of the most
important things for you previously was other people witnessing your victory. That would mean that victory
would define you to those people who believe that winning is the most important thing in life, and the
main reason they would think that would be because they would believe it would validate them in front
of other people. But the only people it would somehow validate them to would be other people labouring
under the same misapprehension! Now there's a vicious circle if ever there was one. And if any of that
were actually real or true, what about the poor golfer living on his own on a desert island! Would he
not be able to enjoy playing golf because he would never have the chance to win anything and therefore
to "validate" himself as a player in the eyes of others? Or, might he, in fact, be in the wonderful
position of simply playing golf as a game. Playing a game where you get the chance to use your imagination
to visualise a shot happening, of creating something wonderful in your imagination and sometimes, just
sometimes, seeing it brought into reality by your wonderful human learning system. And having so much
fun with it that you play lots and lots and your system learns even more and your imagination becomes
reality more and more often. Might he be in a position to play the game for its own beauty, for the
joy of seeing a well-struck shot soar through the sky, for the thrill of witnessing your imagination
become reality, the same thrill almost every kid who's ever picked up a golf club has had.
Golfer:
The same thrill I had when I first began to play. I'd like to get back to that!
CONCLUSION
The examples given in this article have sprung from my own experience. While I have
tried to cover as many issues as possible that have come up for me over time, I realise that my experience
is just that, my own experience.
However, while the details of those experiences and belief systems may be different
from those of others, I hope the process of asking detailed questions and trying to look beyond the
simple generic labels we tend to put on our thoughts and experiences will be of use in helping you to
figure out some of your own issues, should you have any that you'd like to address!
~~~~~~~
There is a small biography of personal details about the
author below.
Read articles by David Gorman and others
Return to the LearningMethods home page
About the Author
David Robertson is a
classically-trained singer, music teacher, golfer, rugby player, and
certificated Alexander Technique teacher who has been
studying and applying the LearningMethods work for some
years now in his own life and with his pupils.
David is now a Senior Apprentice-Teacher of the
LearningMethods work and authorised to teach LearningMethods
as the final part of his teacher training.
David Robertson
Enniskillen,
Co. Fermanagh, Northern Ireland, UK
Tel: +44 (0)2866-328457
E-mail:
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